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Discussion Starter #1
My wife told me that I am spending to much time with my music and not enough time with her so I am taking her on a vacation in September and last night took her out to a nice dinner . Just saying that we all get too involved and busy with our music

Doug
 

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My wife is very supportive and is telling me I need to be playing more because she likes to come hear me play live. B
 

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Several of my ex wives whined like that too and to this day are still enjoying the benefits of me spending too much time--doing my job! No matter how much you think they want to spend time with you it's always much more about them. Get another wife they're easier to get than to get rid of--but there are plenty of passable space fillers around. Once they start going bad it's all downhill from there.
 

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The vacation is really nice. I'm sure she'll appreciate the 'alone time' with you.
I can't remember the last time my husband and I had a night out alone. Maybe 10 years ago?
The last vacation was just before this past Christmas. We went to San Antonio for the oldest daughters' graduation from Air Force BMT. We weren't alone though. Our other 2 daughters and the Grand Baby went too!
 

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Several of my ex wives whined like that too and to this day are still enjoying the benefits of me spending too much time--doing my job! No matter how much you think they want to spend time with you it's always much more about them. Get another wife they're easier to get than to get rid of--but there are plenty of passable space fillers around. Once they start going bad it's all downhill from there.
Right!! If they married you, they know what they got themselves into. They married a musician and that's what we do, period. They like the artist side, they like the cool and sexy on the bandstand vibe, but when they have to sacrifice their time, then they complain? I finally married 3 years ago becaue it took me that long to find a woman who wasn't jealous of my music. Move on man!!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
She loves seeing me play live she films all my events she just thinks I am obsessed with my music and I am lol
 

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To adapt a saying I heard about iPhones, if we spent as much time touching our wives as we spend touching our saxophones, our marriages would be much more healthy!
 

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Whether you're a man or women, you want to be married to a man or women who treats you like a priority to them. You want attention from them and to be treated special. Maybe I'm a minority here but I think relationships are way more important than music. Music is huge for me but it's not worth sacrificing your relationship with your wife and kids over. You just have to find a balance that works. I try to take my wife out on a date once a week. Sometimes I'll meet her at work and have lunch with her. We try to go on a getaway a couple times a year. Its about the communication that happens during those times that keep us connected and appreciative of one another. It sounds like your taking the right steps. I'm sure there are countless stories of great musicians who have died alone with failed marriages and resentful kids. I believe having a close loving family takes as much or more work than becoming a great musician! For me it's worth trying to find the balance.


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Whether you're a man or women, you want to be married to a man or women who treats you like a priority to them. You want attention from them and to be treated special. Maybe I'm a minority here but I think relationships are way more important than music. Music is huge for me but it's not worth sacrificing your relationship with your wife and kids over. You just have to find a balance that works. I try to take my wife out on a date once a week. Sometimes I'll meet her at work and have lunch with her. We try to go on a getaway a couple times a year. Its about the communication that happens during those times that keep us connected and appreciative of one another. It sounds like your taking the right steps. I'm sure there are countless stories of great musicians who have died alone with failed marriages and resentful kids. I believe having a close loving family takes as much or more work than becoming a great musician! For me it's worth trying to find the balance.


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I agree! Everything in moderation..... Including moderation :)
 

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Whether you're a man or women, you want to be married to a man or women who treats you like a priority to them. You want attention from them and to be treated special. Maybe I'm a minority here but I think relationships are way more important than music. Music is huge for me but it's not worth sacrificing your relationship with your wife and kids over. You just have to find a balance that works. I try to take my wife out on a date once a week. Sometimes I'll meet her at work and have lunch with her. We try to go on a getaway a couple times a year. Its about the communication that happens during those times that keep us connected and appreciative of one another. It sounds like your taking the right steps. I'm sure there are countless stories of great musicians who have died alone with failed marriages and resentful kids. I believe having a close loving family takes as much or more work than becoming a great musician! For me it's worth trying to find the balance.


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Yes sir! When you find a great partner the last thing you want to do is push them away and make them feel like a 2nd class citizen to your hobby or job. I no longer practice when my wife is home unless she is asleep. She is so good to me. I try to do something nice for her everyday. She lets me gig as much as I want as long as I'm paying attention to her and my kid. I went to a House of Blues show of a friends band not to long ago. I left my horn at home so I would be there to dance with my wife. My buddy wanted me to blow on the whole set. The fact that I didn't and just hung with the wife bought me many more guilt free gigs and rehearsals.
 

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Not bitter, just realistic. If you want to play music, or whatever activity you pursue, either don't get married or marry someone who understands your situation. And sure it's a two-way street. Don't marry someone who is doing something you can't support. Sounds simple enough, but it's not always easy to know where someone else stands. Best not to rush into anything. I lived with my present wife for over 20 years before finally 'tying the knot.' By then we both knew what we were getting into. Needless to say she has never once complained about the late nights out on the bandstand.
 

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IN GENERAL, women tend to be more focused on relationships and interactions with other people in addition to their own interests. The males are more focused on career and stuff, like their lawn tractors and saxophones sometimes to the exclusion of actually having a real relationship with their partner or other people. This tends to drive women crazy. Believe me I know. If you are a guy it's true - you can make your partner happy by interacting with them more and not being so focused all the time on your career, hobbies, lawn tractor or motorcycle or playing Autumn Leaves in B or F#.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Sorry I brought this up but to make matters even more challenging I am also a veteran film maker thats works for the networks and cable industry and I have the most amazing and understanding wife for over 24 years !
 
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