Sax on the Web Forum banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 63 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm a senior in high school, and have played alto sax since fourth grade. I've LOVED it. I've needed a new sax for years but my parents don't want to get me one. I'm in need of reeds right now, and my parents don't even want to get me those. The reason? They don't think I'll continue after I graduate.

Now, this is ridiculous. I have plenty of tunes I play for fun on my own, I love playing sax, I transcribe, I'm thinking about doubling on another instrument. I've tried convincing my parents that I'm still gonna play, back when I reminded them I needed a new sax. They hardly budged, just saying "maybe we'll get you a used one", and months later, same old sax.

It's like talking to a wall. A cold, dark wall. D: </rant>
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2015
Joined
·
3,383 Posts
Hey, ever thought of getting a job and earning your own money?
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2013
Joined
·
11,501 Posts
Being a parent who tried to give my children everything my parents couldn't give me; I find myself with two grown men living under my roof with their feet under the dinner table. I worked and bought my own horns. Frankly, I think I like the way I turned out better. Seriously, your parents may want to see you start assuming responsibility for your own life, especially those things they might not consider to be necessities. I don't know your circumstances, but the rant sound familiar. Sorry if you were looking for an advocate. Be strong.
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2013
Joined
·
11,501 Posts
Yeah Pete, that's what I said less elegantly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
505 Posts
Hey, ever thought of getting a job and earning your own money?
+1. If you made youre own money and saved it for gear A) you'd have new gear B) your parents would see how serious you are and might be willing to help out more. Plus youll appreciate it more if you have to work for it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
340 Posts
Hey Legender, I think the majority of members here are parents, so don't expect a lot of sympathy. Maybe you should go to a forum for ungrateful spoiled brats. The "used" sax I still play was given to me as a high school graduation present in 1971.
 

·
Just a guy who plays saxophone.
Joined
·
3,581 Posts
Hey, ever thought of getting a job and earning your own money?
Your parents are paying for everything BUT sax gear right now, right?

After school/ weekend job at GAP, Subway, etc. = $6.75/hr:

Most students are allowed to work 20 hours/ week.

20hr x 6.75= $135. Less 15% for with holdings ($21), and 15 bucks for stupid crap and gas money for rides to work (yes, it costs money when your parents and friends cart you around, or maybe you have a car? I sure wouldn't have if I hadn't had a job:tsk:). Set aside $5 a week for reeds: it will add up to a box of reeds a month (not that you need a box a month). Every time you buy a box, put the rest in a separate place for tech money...you will need it. Then start the reed fund over again.

That leaves you about $95/ week bankable cash. 8-9 weeks you can buy a pretty decent used horn (look on here, there are TONS). 15-17 weeks and you can buy a great NEW Asian horn (Barone, Macsax, Bauhaus Walstein...), or a used but good condition Yamaha, Cannonball, P. Mauriat, etc. Save a little longer and you could even get a used Selmer if you want, I hear they are pretty good. There are deals out there if you are patient.

My parents had all they could do to raise the four of us, but we had EVERYTHING we needed. Sometimes I don't know where it came from. Besides, you will love it more if YOU had to work for it!

I think someone though they were going to get sympathy when they started this post![rolleyes]:razz:
 

·
The most prolific Distinguished SOTW poster, Forum
Joined
·
27,650 Posts
You haven't told us what make/model sax you play. Maybe at the moment, a repair technician can breathe new life into it. And if you don't have the money for the repairs to your instrument, if the technician works for a music store, maybe you could work something out with them so that you could work X amount of hours in exchange for the repair/reconditioning of the sax. Please tell us what alto you have.
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member
Joined
·
2,077 Posts
I know how he's feeling though. Lots of kids get nice new horns at some point if its the kind of thing they continue with through middle and high school, and he never got his, and now that he's almost done his parents are thinking they don't want to spend four to six grand on a nice new horn now especially when it will collect dust in his dorm closet at MIT as he studies physics. If they didnt get it for you in 9th or 10th grade, they're unlikely to want to get it now especially with college expenses looming in the immediate future. Consider a nice used pro-level horn ... some places will let you buy on credit ...
Timing is everything!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
84 Posts
agreed to buying your own, I wanted a Soprano for YEARS. I fell in love with soprano when i was in middle school and couldn't get my parents to budge. I started on clarinet so i owned my own, which they bought me, and then was taught to play sax (bari). played the schools for 2 years, and when i went to high school i was still in pursuit of the ever elusive soprano. when i had my parents convinced, it was in my hands and home with me to bring to my band teacher over the summer. little did i know my mom called my band teacher and they decided that it would not be a smart move at that time. i dont think i spoke to my parents for a week. so, i ended up with a YAS-62 alto which i would not trade anything for. needless to say, 7 years later i had finally saved enough money to buy a custom yamaha 875ex and a yamaha 62II tenor at the same time. honestly, find a part time job and buy it yourself. it make take you longer, maybe not years but it feels good to be self reliant and buy your own stuff. i play for quite a few musicals so they are actually starting to pay for themselves.

best of luck!
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2015
Joined
·
3,383 Posts
Your parents are paying for everything BUT sax gear right now, right?

After school/ weekend job at GAP, Subway, etc. = $6.75/hr:

Most students are allowed to work 20 hours/ week.

20hr x 6.75= $135. Less 15% for with holdings ($21), and 15 bucks for stupid crap and gas money for rides to work (yes, it costs money when your parents and friends cart you around, or maybe you have a car? I sure wouldn't have if I hadn't had a job:tsk:). Set aside $5 a week for reeds: it will add up to a box of reeds a month (not that you need a box a month). Every time you buy a box, put the rest in a separate place for tech money...you will need it. Then start the reed fund over again.

That leaves you about $95/ week bankable cash. 8-9 weeks you can buy a pretty decent used horn (look on here, there are TONS). 15-17 weeks and you can buy a great NEW Asian horn (Barone, Macsax, Bauhaus Walstein...), or a used but good condition Yamaha, Cannonball, P. Mauriat, etc. Save a little longer and you could even get a used Selmer if you want, I hear they are pretty good. There are deals out there if you are patient.

My parents had all they could do to raise the four of us, but we had EVERYTHING we needed. Sometimes I don't know where it came from. Besides, you will love it more if YOU had to work for it!

I think someone though they were going to get sympathy when they started this post![rolleyes]:razz:
Yeah, I've ALWAYS hated to be dependent on other people for money... I was probably 10 or so years old when I got my first paper route (in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where it gets to be -40 in the winter), and I LOVED it. I had the ability to get pretty much anything I wanted, and my parents were good with it as I was showing initiative. In high school, I picked up a friday midnight-8AM weekend shift at a local plastic tarp factory, making $20 per hour (whoohoo!). One night's work, $160 bucks in my pocket, and at that age missing one night's sleep was not a big deal. Sometimes I'd get lucky and have a gig on Saturday night and make another $50 or $100 playing sax for a wedding band (and we would usually manage to get a couple of beers and a meal at the wedding, which as a teenager was splendid). During the summer, I usually did computer work 'cause it paid great, but one summer I spent lifeguarding at the local pool, which didn't pay as well, but ah, what a summer.

It's not that hard to put some change in your pocket as a teenager, and the feeling is GREAT! Independence, your parents dig that you are taking SOME responsibility for yourself - in fact you might find that they give you MORE stuff once you are working, as they see you aren't just a hanger-on....

My post wasn't meant to be mean or give you a hard time Legender - sincerely, you now have the opportunity to either get in the driver's seat or continue to complain that you don't like the scenery... which way do you think you'll get to where you want to go?
 

·
Forum Contributor 2016, Distinguished SOTW Member
Joined
·
12,793 Posts
You missed your chance. Your too close to leaving the nest. What needed to happen is when you were in middle school you should have had a teacher talk to your parents and tell them you needed a new horn and the current horn was really holding you back. Some parents go for it......others don't but you have to try.
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member/Contributor 2010
Joined
·
1,502 Posts
How about this: Tell them you would like to save up to buy your own horn but could use a little help. Propose that they match every dollar you save. That way, you demonstrating that you are willing to help yourself while you ask them to help you.
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member
Joined
·
2,144 Posts
I'm sorry...the horn I *might* be able to understand...but I can't fathom a high school senior whining about mommy and daddy not being willing to buy reeds. I bought and paid for my first Mark VI alto while in high school from the money I saved mowing lawns around the neighborhood from the age of 11 or 12 and working 30+ hours per week in grocery stores starting at the age of 16. Except for the roof over my head, I was pretty much self-sufficient by the time I was a senior and it really wasn't that hard to do. The most important part is that fending for myself helped develop strong work ethics at an early age. Seriously man...what's the world coming to when a high school senior can't (or won't try to) find a way of earning enough money even to buy their own reeds? </rant>
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member
Joined
·
1,484 Posts
You're probably much better off fixing your horn up and getting a nicer mouthpiece. Unless the horn is a total dog. What is it exactly you're playing on now? In high school I knew a kid who'se "beat up old junker" happened to be a 5 digit Mark VI. He had no clue at all that "dad's old hand me down" horn was really something to be treasured.

Most student horns can be your "forever horn" if you're not going to be a 3 plus hour a day practicer and professional musician. Heck, some guys who ARE professionals play student horns anyways. If the horn has the tone, who cares what the make/model is. I know of more than a few guys who play professionally on Yamaha 21 and 23 saxes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
253 Posts
Well, I too wanted a new horn a few years back, as a Junior in high school. I got a job working with a construction company, saved my cash, and got a "used" horn that plays like a dream! I like it more because I bought it myself, with money that I earned from my own sweat. It's a great feeling.
 

·
Distinguished SOTW member/, Official SOTW Sister
Joined
·
19,209 Posts
Oh BOO HOO

Did you stop to think that maybe your 'much needed' new sax just isn't in the budget?
As your parents to show you the bills that need to be payed, and any other expenses that they have on a weekly/monthly basis... Food, gas, insurance, utilities, TV, dining out, school lunch, cash that they give you so you can 'hang out' with your buddys on the weekend. EVERYTHING.
Then look at the amount of money coming in. Do your parents earn the same amount every week, or are some weeks better than others?
Is there enough coming in to pay everything and still have a little left over to put into savings for 'emergencies', or are they like a lot of families these days and just barely getting by?

Instead of standing there with you hand out and expecting Mommy and Daddy to just give you what you want, try earning the extras.
If you NEED the reeds for band class, they may get some for you. If you just WANT reeds... eh, use what you have.
As for the new horn... Get a job and give it to yourself. That's what we grown-ups have to do when we want something.

You want to know what is really like talking to a cold, dark wall? It's trying to convince a teen-ager to stop being so self centered and start taking a little responsibility for their own needs and wants.

Sorry to be a meanie.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
258 Posts
From Wiki on Charlie Parker "Parker began playing the saxophone at age 11 and at age 14 joined his school's band using a rented school instrument." most young people start off like this and have to work hard for what they get.

I never had the opportunity to play any musical instrument until I was an adult. I now try to give my kids every opportunity to play music, so much so that we have a few white elephants at our house from my kids wanting to play this then this. They have both found their instruments though and have to show through there practising and playing, their dedication before anything is given to them. I have to say though I think it is important to support your kids with their music.
 

·
Distinguished SOTW Member
Joined
·
2,597 Posts
Oooh, ouch! Some of you are HARSH! Of course, that doesn't mean you are wrong. Legender - I would have more sympathy if you were younger, like a high school freshman or sophomore, but as a senior, presumably graduating in a few months...

Some things that would be relevant to my thinking on this: what are you doing after you graduate from high school? (College? Working? Travel? Just hanging out at home? Joining the military?) What is your family's budget like? (Are your parents having trouble paying the water bill, or did they just buy the 4th Mercedes?) What kind of horn are you playing now? What kind do you want? Do your parents typically buy everything for you, or do you have to pay for things yourself?
 
1 - 20 of 63 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top