For years and years i've had what i'll call musician's block, for want of a better name. It's some kind of mental wall that stops me from practising. If I don't have something to rehearse for that i absolutely have to do, I usually end up stopping altogether. At some point I'll kick myself up the backside and force myself to play at least for just 5 minutes or so, but i end up stopping again.
This has been going on my entire life as a musician, so getting on for 3 decades now. It's reached the point where I've made myself ill and can hardly bear to talk about playing, practice or being in a band without getting extremely angry & upset.
I feel like I've wasted a lifetimes worth of natural talent by not being able to put the practice in consistantly over the years. When I'm dropped into a musical situation i can usually come up with something and know that i have good musical ideas and a good ear but it's kind of pointless when my technique and tone fall so far short of the mark.
I haven't met any other musician who understands why i don't love just picking up my sax and making a noise. And in case you're wondering, there's no question of me trying to be something i'm not. I've always been a musician and know without a doubt that that's what I should be doing. If I had the t & t to be jamming all the time, I'd be a very happy bunny. But I can't get there without picking my sax up, and picking my sax up makes me feel ill.
Obviously I've got a pretty big issue here so I'd appreciate it if you're not hard on me.
Thanks, JJ.
This has been going on my entire life as a musician, so getting on for 3 decades now. It's reached the point where I've made myself ill and can hardly bear to talk about playing, practice or being in a band without getting extremely angry & upset.
I feel like I've wasted a lifetimes worth of natural talent by not being able to put the practice in consistantly over the years. When I'm dropped into a musical situation i can usually come up with something and know that i have good musical ideas and a good ear but it's kind of pointless when my technique and tone fall so far short of the mark.
I haven't met any other musician who understands why i don't love just picking up my sax and making a noise. And in case you're wondering, there's no question of me trying to be something i'm not. I've always been a musician and know without a doubt that that's what I should be doing. If I had the t & t to be jamming all the time, I'd be a very happy bunny. But I can't get there without picking my sax up, and picking my sax up makes me feel ill.
Obviously I've got a pretty big issue here so I'd appreciate it if you're not hard on me.
Thanks, JJ.