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Nice feel. The melody was musical, and your improv has nice ideas.

Sometimes the pitch is sharp, especially above the staff...IMO this detracts from what you bring to the table. Lots of long tones with a tuner will help. But we don't always play the same when we're tuning compared with when we're playing. So play along with the track and stop ANYWHERE during your performance, hold out whatever note you're playing and see what the tuner tells you.

You understand the harmonic structure of the tune, and that bridge is not easy. Work on connecting one chord into the next...II/V/I studies help this, of course. Make a point of resolving thirds and sevenths to sevenths and thirds in your lines. Take the ideas you've developed in the key of F and work them out in the key centers of the bridge: Bb, Gb, and D so you're comfortable building lines in those less familiar keys. In other words, transcribe yourself.

I'm being nit-picky, but I believe this what you were seeking. Overall, I enjoyed listening to it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thats exactly what I was looking for. Thanks a lot! I'll definitely be working on these things.
 

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Watch out for the pitch on the B with the octave key and the middle D. The high B sounds like a lack of air support thing, or that you are trying to create a light sound and not backing up with the right amount of air when trying to make it sound lighter.

Your fingers are also going too high above the keys when playing. This will effect your fast tempo playing and 16th note playing.

So with the soloing, I may need to limit what I write to like the first chorus, otherwise this will get too long. But first, good use of the b3 to M3 in the first two A sections. Be careful however, that when you get to the 5th and particularly 6th bar that you do not continue that same sound. Those notes clash a little and that blues sound does not clearly outline the harmony. Also, on that note, the E natural you end the little cool lick on works well with the first four chords, but ending their on the B minor, it is the 4th and it doesnt really work so well.
On the second A you transpose the bluesy riff on the 2nd bar over E7 which works well. Changing one note can make you hit the changes. If you were to transpose it to match the 4th bar using a tritone Subsitution or altered, that would follow what my ears and I imagine many peoples ears want to hear. Instead, you played it the same way, which was lacking.

On the bridge, which is VERY HARD understandably, you almost made the changes. Some instances you changed keys a little early. Some, you tried to use chromatic sounds to hide not making the changes using half step approaches. So to make those sounds work, you need a line that moves in the same direction, and gets to the next chord using a half step. Or you could do something motivic that works over each key, either following the exact line transposed, following the shape, or keeping it in the same register.
On the last A, I didnt really hear the changes much at all. Make sure to nail the A- to D7 two five landing on the three. You play a lot of D's here, just like in the first A section. Remember, playing the 5th is not a good way to outline the changes. 3rd and 7th is the way man!
Dig?

Do some transcription analyzing. Right now I am more concerned about your note choice then your style. So google search for Charles McNeal and find his transcriptions. Choose a player that you like in the bebop era and analyze the solos.

anyway, I will listen to the rest for fun!!

Do some more listening and analyzing and some playing along with solos. You are going the right direction.
 

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