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I'm kind of in a similar situation - I have a day job, but also end up doing paid gigs. Some well paid, some...not so much.

The advantage of not relying on music as your primary income is that you can be as choosy, or non choosy about gigs as you like. If it's unpaid/low paid but sounds fun or interesting, I'll probably do it. If it's something standard like doing the same old tunes at a wedding gig, I'll want pro money - if I get it, fine, if they say no, i don't really care because I've done loads of wedding gigs before and don't feel like I'm missing out. I'll enjoy my free time instead.

Regularly being the only unpaid guy in a band is not on though. I wouldn't accept that. That's just taking advantage of you. You could try it once if it sounds good and gets you some contacts, but if they offer you the same deal again, I'd call their bluff and say sorry, you're getting a lot of pro gigs now and you can't take on anymore unpaid work.
 
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