[crazypianolady]

When you've had those weeks when you just haven't had the time to practice, does your teacher/tutor understand or be empathetic?

I am in my busy, final year at uni, and live with 6 other people which makes finding sociable hours to practice difficult (if only you could plug headphones into a sax!!). Also, I have not been able to practice much this week as my Grandad had a heart attack so I was out of town visiting him. My sax tutor teaches many people so he doesn't want to listen to my 'excuses' and has said he's heard them all before, and so I feel that my reasons are not valid and feel silly for telling him them. I am letting myself down by not practicing but I feel letting him down is worse.

So I was just wondering how other tutors are when you have not had time to practice...are they empathetic or am I just being oversensitive to my tutor's opinions on lack of practice? Thanks!

 

[hakukani]

We all must set priorities in our lives. A teacher understands that there is more in your life than playing the saxophone. However, you are not hiring them to organize your time. YOU must be responsible for that. Your teacher can't teach you if you don't study, and when you don't practice, you're wasting two people's most valuable and limited commodity--time.

So, my advice is to not offer an excuse, but rather, say: "I haven't practiced sufficiently this week. We should postpone the lesson." Make sure you pay him for the scheduled time, and use that time to practice.

 

[Dr G]

So, my advice is to not offer an excuse, but rather, say: "I haven't practiced sufficiently this week. We should postpone the lesson." Make sure you pay him for the scheduled time, and use that time to practice.

+1 - Nicely stated, Hak'.

"No apologies, no excuses." - Julia Childs

 

[bandmommy]

As a private instructor I find it more than a little annoying when the student comes in to a lesson and hasn't at least made an attempt at what was assigned the week before.
Having said that, I do know that sometimes 'life' gets a little out of control and will cut a bit of slack.
Illness, family emergencies, these are excusable. If it gets to be a habit then I will show no mercy.
On the other hand there are times that I don't mind getting paid for doing nothing other than listening to student reruns....

 

[zacworld]

Hello crazypianolady. I'm also a private instructor and have many times had students show up who didn't practice. I agree with bandmommy, unexpected circumstances can always arise, and because of that I always take each instance on a case-by-case basis. In your case it sounds like you just had an overwhelming week with your grandfather's illness, so it's understandable if you missed your normal amount of practice time, and (in my opinion) your sax tutor should be a bit more sympathetic since family illness is involved. The situation with your roomates is more of a concern for your long term practice habits though. Because you live with them it is always going to be an obstacle if you have to restrict or even miss your practicing because of them. I'd suggest you talk with them and try to work out a mutually agreeable practice time. If that's not possible, consider creating a practice time which will work for you consistently at a different location, such as your school, where you know you can practice on a regular basis without any conflicts. Best of luck to you.

 

[crazypianolady]

Thanks for the advice everyone. bandmommy I have never gone without at least some practice but sometimes it can be as little as 2 hours (4 x 30 mins) :| It is rather awkward living with so many people, especially when one gets in at 6am from work and then sleeps through the day! zacworld that is a good idea to arrange a set practice time with my housemates, I think I'll do that. I just hate letting my tutor down!

 

[Reedscraper]

If location is the problem.......I used to drive to the football stadium parking lot and practice in my car. Unless there's a game, you are alone. I also used to take a folding stand and go out into the woods and play to forest creatures. There is always someplace else to go.

 

[jazzcat58]

OH!! i understand perfectly!..but as much as i find it frustrating, i do find the amusing side of it also.
A young girl i teach 10, is so sweetly honest, for instance i ask [have you practiced juliet?......to which she replys no!!, oh i say!..is that because of the lack of time?..no she replys i reckon i am doing well enough this week not to practice!! lol.
Ok i say, then you wont have much problem playing your scales etc!!..the look on her face is quite amusing!!..

 

[gary]

I always had them show up anyway and we'd go over the lesson again to make sure the assignment was clear, and then work on a mix of sight reading, duets - using that for intonation development, playing together the right rhythms, articulations and phrasings - and improvisation.

 

[bandmommy]

I would say that 2 hours is more than an 'attempt'. That is twice what most of my middle school students put in in a month!
You can still get a lot accomplished in that little amount of time.

At the University where I took my daughters for private instruction one of the music buildings had basement level practice rooms that were available 24 hours a day. Anyone who played in any of the bands was given the 'code' to unlock the doors.
You might want to check and see if your school has something similar.

 

[daigle65]

+1 on what hakukani, bandmommy and gary said.

The majority of my students are adults with busy schedules, so I'm well aware of this reality.
The occasional week is OK with me but some don't seem to realize that they need to have available time to practice along with the scheduled lesson.
I had one student who would systematically show up without having practiced, sometimes telling me that he had not even opened his sax case since the last lesson.
He would then launch into the excuses (2 jobs, sports, neighbor's complaints etc....) I finally told him that there was no point in him continuing if he could not find at least 3 hours a week to practice.

 

[Souportwenty]

I believe, at this stage in the school term, your saxophone instructor has a good idea of what you are capable of in a normal week. If you have had some "personal crisis" time, as Gary said, just let him know the lesson isn't ready and go over the main points of the lesson again. Now, if there are problems each week, I have the phone number of another sax instructor I give them. My day job teaching school keeps the wolf away from the door. I can understand when there is a bump in the road, but have little patience for those who do not make an attempt to get in the car. From your post, it seems it is a bump. As stated before, let the teacher know this is not a representation of your best work and you will work harder this week.
Sheet happens, move on...

 

[martinm5862]

We all must set priorities in our lives. A teacher understands that there is more in your life than playing the saxophone. However, you are not hiring them to organize your time. YOU must be responsible for that. Your teacher can't teach you if you don't study, and when you don't practice, you're wasting two people's most valuable and limited commodity--time.

So, my advice is to not offer an excuse, but rather, say: "I haven't practiced sufficiently this week. We should postpone the lesson." Make sure you pay him for the scheduled time, and use that time to practice.

This is the way I would treat a beginner in order to instill the discipline necessary to learn and improve, however in the case of more advanced students or serious beginners there is more to be learned than just the prepared studies for daily practice.
How about playing duets and working on a students intonation, phrasing and dynamics. I know this requires more effort and the teacher will actually have to play the duets but this is the most beneficial part of the lesson anyway. Personally, I can't take a student's money and not give him this option.

 

[dubrosa22]

My teacher believes me when I say I haven't been able to practice much (say only 2.5 hours in a week instead of 6) because I have a 7 week old baby!
I still attend the lesson and basically have an intensive practice for an hour with her. Ironing out kinks in the set material, scales etc. rather than progressing to new stuff. These are great lessons actually but they don't replace lost practice time just make better use of the time I do have.

I now practice in the car at a multistorey carpark before or after work. Side windows make great places to stick sheets. Not as cramped or stuffy as I'd originally thought but I play alto and it's been a mild Spring. Hoping to be able to play at home regularly by December!

 

[AddictedToSax]

Am I the only one who thinks you don't owe an excuse to someone you're paying for a service? The teacher is in effect your employee. Do you really owe him/her an apology? I don't think so. I'd just give a general explanation that life got in my way this week so I couldn't practice as much as I'd like. No apology, no grovelling. Just the facts.

 

[dubrosa22]

Self-respect and having respect for my teacher is why I feel the need to explain myself to my teacher. If I can't play a piece through as well as I could if I had proper practice time I like to say so.
Fortunately, my teacher understands life gets in the way sometimes. Clearly, as shown above, some teachers are not so forgiving/human.

But anyway, who would want a teacher who doesn't push you???

 

[CooolJazzz]

The key is to stop feeling like you need to offer explanations unless they're asked for...(this goes for all areas of life). If they ARE asked for, you need to know the difference between explanations and excuses. If it's an excuse, keep it to yourself. If it's an explanation, first ask yourself if there's any real need for someone else to know. In most cases there isn't...(but I wouldn't advise telling an employer that your reasons for not having completed a task are none of their business). I'm all for teachers who push, but not those who intimidate or belittle. The only beneficial guilt is that which comes from within. Guilt being forced on you by others should be ignored for what it is...someone else trying to manipulate your feelings and make themselves feel superior in the process. You're no longer a child. Don't let anyone treat you like one. When it comes to private lessons, you're the only one who suffers if you haven't done the best you can. If you have done the best you can and made the best possible use of your time, you don't owe anyone any explanations other than..."I've done the best I could with the time that was available". Then you move on.

 

[bandmommy]

Am I the only one who thinks you don't owe an excuse to someone you're paying for a service? The teacher is in effect your employee. Do you really owe him/her an apology? I don't think so. I'd just give a general explanation that life got in my way this week so I couldn't practice as much as I'd like. No apology, no grovelling. Just the facts.

Your parents tax dollars pay the wages of the teachers in your school system.
These teachers are in effect 'employees' of your parents yet you are still required to do your homework and turn in all assignments.
Private lessons are no different. You pay the teacher, and do the 'homework'.
I'm sure the OP is offering an apology out of respect for their teacher. This common courtesy is appreciated.

 

[RootyTootoot]

Am I the only one who thinks you don't owe an excuse to someone you're paying for a service? The teacher is in effect your employee. Do you really owe him/her an apology? I don't think so.

Chortle. Do you have a teacher? If you do, I suggest you quote that to him (or her) verbatim and see what happens.

 

[crazypianolady]

AddictedToSax I do feel that I owe him an apology because I want to distinguish myself from those who can't be bothered to practice and me who can be bothered to practice, but finds it difficult.

CooolJazzz, wise words! I do feel guilty when I haven't practiced as much as I'd hoped, but I do think a little guilt does come from him. For instance, when I bruised my finger and couldn't use it for 2 weeks, I briefly mentioned it in the lesson and he then told me how he had once played in a band with a broken/dislocated/bruised thumb and how painful it was... Then said something in a half-joking manner like how 'he's a man and should be tough' but understood that a woman couldn't do the same....:| I couldn't help feel a bit belittled after that, although I know he didn't mean it in a nasty way. Other times though, he will say "am I right that you haven't had much practicing time this week" and then he'll move on (even if I actually have!-just crappy playing I guess lol). So it seems that the better option is not to offer explanations or excuses to him. I would like to explain why I was in a teary mood in last week's lesson (I had just found out about my Grandad) but I will just wait to see if he asks about practice.

dubrosa22, I do want my teacher to push me, especially seeing as I'm taking my grade 5 in March! I can imagine a baby would limit your practicing hours a lot! :lol: If I had a car I would drive to places to practice but alas I am a poor student and can't afford one!