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Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2013
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Got the news that my girlfriend is pregnant. We're keeping it.

I'm very excited and even more scared.

Is 23 too young to have a kid?

A lot of people have been very skeptical because we've had devious pasts and are relatively poor in the grand scheme. Saying everything wrong with having it doesn't help anything when we're solid on having it.

Just as many people are pretty supportive though.

My day job is playing sax. So, I'm not super worried about it ruining my career just yet.

My girlfriend is really excited to be raising a child around music. Who knows? Maybe it'll grow to be an "even littler wailer".

Now I just gotta tell my mom...
 

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Grafton + TH & C alto || Naked Lady 10M || TT soprano || Martin Comm III
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Is 23 too young to have a kid?
No

My day job is playing sax.
That's good, you'll have plenty of time at night to help out with the feeding etc.

Congrats.

My son has (so far) turned out not to be a wailer (well, not in the saxophone sense), but has his sights set on being a footballer. It's quite common for children not to follow in daddy's or mummy's footsteps.
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member
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Congratulations! Its a great adventure...
 

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Forum Contributor 2010-2016
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Congratulations. Enjoy your kid but don't stress when he/she doesn't take an interest in what you do. But make sure you take an interest in what he/she likes. That is until he/she gets to a certain age when showing an interest will be seen as extremely annoying.
 

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Forum Contributor 2012, SOTW Saxophone Whisperer,
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People who are "better off" than you AND "worse off" than you have been both Better and Worse Parents than you will be.

Same can be said about those older and younger.

Parenting has nothing to do with your day job. It has everything to do with how much you love your family.
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2015
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Congratulations this is a blessing for the both of you and being scared about it is normal after all you will be making the most important decisions of your life now.
 

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Parenting has nothing to do with your day job. It has everything to do with how much you love your family.
Exactly. However you may have to get an extra steady job to make ends meet. A baby's expensive to raise. And the first few months he'll be a "little wailer" for sure.
 

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Forum Contributor 2011, SOTW's pedantic pet rodent
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Enjoy! I'd say 23 is good. You'll still be pretty young when your baby becomes an adult. That will be a big support to him/her I think.

Money really isn't everything. But honestly, in the true "grand scheme" you are certainly very wealthy indeed. :)
 

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All you need is love and patience...those are free. Love helps you make the right decisions for your family.......and patience.....well, you will find out how that works soon enough.

Congrats and good luck. Enjoy your sleep while you can get it. :)

FWIW my little brother was 24 when he had his first (similar situation) and he and his family are thriving. You have to make "it" happen for your child....and you will.
 

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Well I'm 23 myself and I don't see me becomming a dad for another 6-10 years. However, if you think you're up to it then i can only congratulate you and wish you luck!
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member, Forum Contributor 2016
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Congrats LittleWailer!!! It's gonna be joyous!
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member/Logician
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My son has (so far) turned out not to be a wailer (well, not in the saxophone sense), but has his sights set on being a footballer.
We got something in common there, though it's American football for my boy. For his freshman year in high school, he did both band and football, but dropped band after that year with my mixed blessings. I've since gotten over it. I mean... at least football pays for college.

But as for the OP and the bun in the oven; your life is going to change. You will have to make your child your priority, and be prepared for your girlfriend to do same. Though this seems rather obvious, it's actually not easy to do at all, and many fail miserably. Unfortunately, you won't know until your child actually arrives. If you feel love like you've never felt before, then you just might be ready. If not, well... it's then too late.
 

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Forum Contributor 2008/Distinguished SOTW Member
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Congratulations. I have a 5yr old and an 8month old and they are truly the most rewarding contributions I could ever hope to make to this world. And I try to keep that in mind.

Nothing I do as a musician, a worker, or any other role will compare to the contribution that I can make to their lives.

Yes, sometimes you have to choose between hanging out with the family and making money for the rent. (I work 2 jobs and usually 7 days a week). And it can be tireless. Home a 3am from the gig. up at 6am to hang with the kids and get them off to school, etc... then off to the day job. Rinse and repeat.

Just concentrate on that smile that wakes you up at 6AM on Sat and Sun and be present. Don't grasp and chase sleep and feeling better. Just enjoy what you have in that moment.

Sleep is no longer a right. It is a privilege. The sooner you truly accept that the easier your life will be. ;)

Altogether, I would not trade fatherhood for anything. Ever.
 

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Forum Contributor 2017
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I sometimes think having a child when I was younger would have been nice but the trade off is that I do not think I would have been a great father. However, I finally settled down at 41, married and have a child due in October at age 46!!! Regardless of the age I am starting to truly understand there are things much more important than that bebop tune I need to learn for a session next week. It gives you grace!

Best luck BigWailer.

B
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member
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I used to think that I would keep touring after I had my kid. I was making good money and having fun. As soon as my kid was born I didn't want to be away from my family at all. I still play a lot but the kid comes first. Having my little girl changed me for the better. It makes you really think about how how spend your time and what you are doing with your life. I want to be the best person I can be for my little girl. She is a blessing.

You can do it but be ready for your life to change in every way possible.
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member/Forum Contributor 2014
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22 is not too young to have a child if you're on a good path in your head toward adulthood.

The question is, is there a substantial and steady income to support a family?

Good luck no matter what. :)
 

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A lot of people have been very skeptical because we've had devious pasts and are relatively poor in the grand scheme. Saying everything wrong with having it doesn't help anything when we're solid on having it.
I'd tell those people to STFU.

Congrats and best of luck!
 

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Distinguished SOTW Member
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I was 21 when my daughter was born. The best part about starting young is that you FINISH young. Look at it this way - When you're 45, you can laugh at all your friends with young children who are worried about balancing college education with retirement!
 
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