Sorry I have just discovered this post Adrian. I enjoyed your composition and like the piano part being written out, rather than chord symbols. It gave the piano part a certain quality and variety, which it would not have had if the part had being realised from chord symbols.
The only comment I would make is maybe you should look into bar 83. There is a prominent F# in the treble, and then another in the bass on the 3rd beat. This for me causes several problems: the F# (leading note) is given too much emphasis and it clashes with the G in the treble. The fact that it falls a 7th to the low G is not a problem in itself but it adds to the slight awkwardness of that bar.
Well done! and it would be good to hear it on real instruments.
I've come a bit late to this thread, but I love your composition and felt that my comments may be of interest. I should say though that I'm a self-taught amateur musician, so no expert comments from me, but I play tenor in a concert band and I have my own sax quartet for which I do a bit of arranging, so I have a pretty good understanding of what 'works' musically and my ear's pretty true as well.
I loved your composition and I've listened to it several times. First of all it's a very 'listenable' piece. I had no problem listening to it several times one after another, and I'm quite sure that an audience would find it a nice piece to listen to as well. I can just see this piece being played in the corner of a posh hotel's lounge while the guests sip their cocktails. Adjectives are always hard o find to describe music, but personally I find it a nice warm, comforting melody.
The main thing that strikes each time I listen to it though is that the balance between the sax and the piano is biassed pretty heavily towards the piano. I would like to hear the saxohpone doing quite a bit more work than it is at the moment. I don't mean running semi-quaver arpeggios from the bottom to the top of its range, or anything silly like that, but just being a bit more influential throughout. My attention is drawn very much to the piano in the piece, and in places the saxophone seems almost a side issue. In fact it might help to raise the sax's influence if the piece did use more of its range. At the moment it touches high D just a couple of times and low E for just one ¼ note in bar 20, apart from which the whole melody is contained between around low and high A.
Anyway I think it's a great piece of original composing. Thank's for posting it, and I hope you'll accept my comments in the spirit they're given, namely just an honest and friendly personal impression.
Thanks, both of you for your comments. I will take them on board for my next piece - sometimes "fixing" a piece can make it worse, but I might try adjustments this time -eg. bar 83; I will look into this.
The good news is that I'm now learning the clarinet and will later try the saxophone. I don't think you can fully write for an instrument without having some first-hand experience of its possibilities.
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