difficult kids

[blueboy]

I've recently been having problems dealing with a couple of difficult students. They are both ten years of age, and all they seem to want to do is talk, not listen, and I have difficulty controlling them (I teach them separately, one-to-one lessons). I'm not very good at being tough with them! I've noticed a lot of similarities in their behaviour, both want to talk a lot about themselves and praise themselves which I guess is a sign of a lack of self-esteem, so I want to avoid raising my voice with them if possible.

This is causing me some stress :x
Any tips anyone please?!

[Hurling Frootmig]

Seperate them.

If you can't do that then you need to tell them that part of the proper decorum of a practice session is the ability to be respectful of each other and to keep quiet unless there's a question that needs to be asked.

They probably are not prepared and are using their behaviour as a technique to avoid playing the complete lesson.

[Stencilman]

This kind of behavior seems to me to be about power and control. They want the power and will do anything to get it. Low self esteem is typical with this behavior.

Lay down some hard rules about talking out of order and interrupting with some tough consequences like having to play an extra 10 minutes of scales and long tones. If they still don't comply, end the lesson early and require the parent(s) to take them home. Some parents unjoy the time away from a tough-to-handle kid so having the consequences affect the parent can be a good thing.

It is a good idea to put all of this in a written contract that the student and the parent must sign. There can't be any room for wishy-washyness when it comes to expected behavior and the consequences. You could even set a limit on the number of times they can break the rules, amd after so many times, you drop them as a student.

With kids this young, having a reward system is a good idea (Suzuki-method "star card" comes to mind). For example, every lesson counts as a star on their card as well as every 30-minutes of practice they do at home. After so many stars, they get a ribbon, small medal or trophy or a gift card to the ice cream shop.

Anyway, I'm no child behavior expert, but I do have 5 kids - that's gotta count for something :-)