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View Full Version : demanding/begging for gigs (the nerve!)


jazziz1
07-04-2003, 05:08 PM
Ok, get this. Had an experience last night that has still got me hot and bothered.

I have a Thursday night gig at a local coffee shop. It's sort of a cross between background and 'hey pay attention to the band' gig, meaning many people do come out specifically to hear the music, but many are also are there for meetings and social gatherings. Hence, we don't play loudly (I rarely even use a drummer) and we try to keep our repertoire to music that blends in with the atmosphere.

So lately a guitarist, who returned to town after spending many years on the west coast, has been coming out to sit in. He's very good; plays better than me (I admit it!) for sure. But he's got a different concept of the music...we're playing pretty straight-ahead stuff and he's using wacky effects and playing "out" compared to what the rest of us are doing. But he's a nice guy and is making an attempt to get back in the scene, so I don't mind him coming out. Besides, he usually shows up when we're on break, and will play a few tunes during the second set, so it's not like he's there for the entire gig.

Now, a couple of weeks ago he came up to me after the gig and asked why I didn't hire him to play with me. (I have a rotation going, using some of the musicians from the area who I enjoy working with.) He kind of caught me off guard, and I stammered and stumbled over words, none of which I thought made much sense, but basically explained that I have been working with the guys I hire for several years and we play well together. Which is the truth, but I didn't bring up the fact that his style just doesn't fit. Perhaps I should have...or not.

Last night, he came back after about a month's hiatus. He caught me after the gig and said he just didn't understand why I wouldn't call him to play. Asked me what it was that caused me to call other piano players and guitarists but that always left him out. This time, I was 100% honest...I told him that while I totally respected his playing, that I felt we were coming from opposite ends of the spectrum, musically. That I just wouldn't feel comfortable with him as one of the musicians for an entire gig, because our visions (for this venue, anyway) were not on the same page. I tried to be as tactful as possible. I tried to be nice. Didn't want to insult him. But he basically became upset and told me that he doesn't understand why I hire musicans who are not nearly as competent as him (he insulted 2 of the guys I hire frequently)! He needs gigs and needs money and so on. He can play all styles...he'll adapt if needs be.

Wow. I began to get angry...nobody has a right to come up to anyone on a gig and basically demand that they be hired. That takes nerve. And, to insult some of the guys I do hire...that *really* got me mad. But I kept my cool and continued to try to explain that I would continue to hire the folks I enjoy playing with. Period.

I know the only way he would have been happy with this discussion would be for me to promise him a gig right there. I feel badly that he's struggling financially and musically, and maybe I seem coldhearted to deny him work when I know he's having problems. But truth be told, this gig doesn't pay much (but it's always fun, which, especially during a weeknight, is worth it to me) and I don't want to hire him out of pity. I don't think he'd want that either. Or maybe he would.

So anyway, that's my story. Anyone ever come across a situation like this? I think it's pretty bizzare, actually. I'm basically non-confrontational and this really got me angry, the more I thought about it. Sorry for the length of this post, but it's part therapy for me to flesh it out like this.

Anxious to hear what you all have to say about this!

JL
07-04-2003, 07:16 PM
It sounds to me like you handled it exactly right. It's kind of obvious why this guy needs gigs and isn't getting many. Sounds like he may be a very good player but is unable to pick up on the style of a group and blend in to what's happening. To come up to you and demand that you hire him, while at the same time insulting other musicians is just plain rude. I've run into musicians with an "attitude" like this and I really don't understand it.

saxboy
07-05-2003, 08:52 AM
Jazziz1,
I am not one to back down in confrontation. It is hard being the boss and having a personality that does not feel comfortable in confrontation. I think you went far beyond the call giving this guy that much courtesy. You have a gig and are doing a great job by being appropriate to the setting. I wish more musicians could even understand what you do. I would not feel sorry or responsible for him in any way. You did more than most would by being honest with him in the first place. Leave it at that and use the guys you value and enjoy each week.
JL was totally right. There is an obvious reason why he is having problems getting gigs and not being able to adapt to this musical setting makes him unusable as a sideman.
He needs to be the boss and leave you alone or loose the attitude and learn how to be appropriate. Period.
LA is full of attitude. Sorry if we gave him some to dump on you…
SAXBOY