Bad Signs

[Lowell]

What are the bad signs you should have paid attention to when you played a new club that turned out to be a dangerous/sleazy place?
For example: The chicken wire barrier across the front of the stage in "The Blues Brothers" should have warned them off but they were desperate.

[Bill Mecca]

a female patron, pulling aside her short shorts and watering the pavement in the parking lot ;-) true, very true.. something I will never forget.

[Morry]

And that's a BAD sign?? :lol:

[RS]

Signs in the parking lot that say "park at your own risk".

[RS]

Chopped Harleys in the parking lot.

[RS]

The club owner wears a .45 on his hip.

[RS]

The club shares the building with a drive-thru liquor store.

[RS]

Cat in the audience is yelling "play some Z.Z. Top, man" before you've finished the first tune of the night.

[martinc]

Beer can shaped pock marks in the wall behind the band stand... :shock:

[RS]

The club is in a town nicknamed "Green" Burnie (Glen Burnie).

[RS]

And "Green" does not refer to the environmental movement.

[RS]

As you walk into the club three barflys come stumbling out so drunk they can hardly see. A few moments later you hear a car screeching out of the parking lot at 70 mph.

[RS]

You see a rat in the kitchen that's as big as a cocker spaniel.

[RS]

The waitress has "born to lose" tattooed on her forearm.

[RS]

You recognise the bartender from his picture at the post office.

[Joey the Saint]

All from personal experience:

A sign above the stage that reads NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR FIRE OR THEFT.

A bouncer with a swastika tattoo.

A club owner who takes offense at your guy keeping headcount with a door clicker.

Another act performing that night, with bandannas on at least one microphone stand and two members' knees.

The waitress warns you not to eat there.

[RS]

The bouncer is a 400 lb. former pro wrestler named "Tiny". (Actually, when Tiny was on the job you didn't have to worry about fights getting out of hand.)

[RS]

The club is in the basement of a seedy hotel in downtown Baltimore.

[Alex]

The underage drinkers
The fact that it was the middle of a Canadian winter and the owner would not turn on the heat.

The way the owner manhandled his waitresses (and eventually our singer)... and the way he was always trying new "systems" of paying us.. the last straw was when he said WE were entirely responsible for bringing in the crowd and if we didn't, we didn't get paid. He wanted us to call all our friends out every week.

All the naked angels in seductive poses painted amateurishly all over the walls.

:wink:

was fun for a little while though.

[Alexk]

Bad Sign 1: Doing a jazz gig with a 7 piece group, bunch of cats up the back start screaming out "Play some Rock"n" Roll. :evil:

Bad Sign 2: Did a wedding once, except for the Bridal table, all places set with plastic plates and plastic knives and forks and plastic goblets. Yep, all blew up just after the speeches, bride just a wee bit pregnant, dad got upset. And the punches flew, and chairs were smashed in two. :lol:

Bad Sign 3: New Years Eve gig, drummer fell off the drum stool just after midnight. Too far gone, no show of a "re-mount". Band is booked 'til 2:00am. Thankfully, a mate in the crowd played drums and stepped up. 8)

Bad Sign 4: Playing a Rock 'n' Roll gig, group of clowns start yelling for "Achy Breaky Heart" :evil:

[jazzbluescat]

When you start smelling cat pee a half a block from the club.