What do you do to keep your wife 'sweet' whilst you practice

[Tom Fisher]

I'd be interested in hearing from any old bloomers like myself about how you manage to keep 'she who shall be obeyed' on the sweeter side of the full spectrum of mood swings, whilst you indulge in an hour or two of practice. I'm sure I can rely on you to keep it clean guys - this subject is only a bit of fun after all, but there again it has its serious side. It could save a lot of us an awful lot of trouble and harrassment in future - of the kind: 'you seem to spend more time with that damned brass thing and love it more than you do me' etc. etc.

I'll start you off with what works for me - surprise gifts of chocolates, flowers, meals out every now and then & unexpectedly doing a lot of housework whilst she's out - with maximum visual impact when she returns of course. It all amounts to 'money' deposited in her patience bank. So let's hear what works for you. After all, she's worth the effort isn't she? She has to put up with the likes of you and me whilst we're endlessly trying to emulate the sound of Lester Young, Coltrane etc. etc., so tell us what works for you!

[Media Lint]

Television ... who spends more time doing what?[/img]

[Tom Fisher]

Thanks Media Lint, you've just made me realise that the money I spent recently on getting 'Sky' TV in the UK, so that I could watch loadsa stuff on documentaries etc. (don't know what equivalent would be called in USA, - Cable TV maybe??) - means that it's going to benefit my sax practice too. Any time there's a box office film on Sky TV - that's me headed for the shed!

[RobG]

Luckily, my wife doesn't seem to mind me practicing. I guess she at least knows where I am then.

[Mike W]

Television works when something she likes is on--most of the time, not always. Fixup and remodeling work on the house goes a long way. Sometimes not playing the same stuff over and over (which I really like to do--I call it practice) helps too.

[Saxmania]

Play her a love song on her birthday or some other occasion. I haven't tried this yet but hope to in a few fortnights. This should be a huge truck load worth in the "saxophone tolerance" bank. Though she doesn't mind my practicing, for the most part.

[ajcurtis]

saxmania,
I don't have any problems playing the alto, after all my wife bought it for me as a christmas present. Its all the other sax-players the ones you need to listen to when you are developing. The countless CDs :lol:

[1ngram]

"the hour or two of practice"!!! I should be so lucky. After never more that twenty minutes I am exhorted to "shut the hell up" by wife, sons and/or assorted cats despite being two walls and a lobby apart from them. "Does it HAVE to be jazz all the time?" I get asked. "Can't you play that damn thing any quieter?" "Don't you know another tune?" Aahh the joys of Sax!

[Roger Aldridge]

I usually go into work early and come home before my wife does. This gives me enough time to get in a good practice each workday. If I need to practice when she's home I play her ballads. That works.

[ajcurtis]

Tom I have been following your tread with interest I have just realised you are from Lincolnshire. I'm fron the north of the county just outside of Scunthorpe, small world. :wink:

[Ritchie]

Help her find a hobby, an occupation she can do with equivalent passion like you do your sax playing. Maybe she even could start learning an instrument, too, so you can play duets from time to time.

[Jon B. Bop]

My wife is generally understanding, although once, after about 20 minutes of trying to get the next pitch on the multiphonics scale, I heard a banging on the wall with a loud cry "I SURRENDER!!!!".

I do my multiphonics when no one's home now. :wink:

[PeterT]

My wife does crafts, so while she's creating whatever, I'm practicing. Plus she has a favorite song that I play before I quit practicing. On those days when I've practiced a little too long and the chops are gone and I don't play it, she never fails to ask "Where's my song?" Plus I introduced her to the computer. Started with email, now she's into selling via eBay and Amazon.com. In a small way. Maybe someday she'll get big, make lots of money and I can quit working and spend lots of time on the sax. Aren't dreams great?

[Tom Fisher]

Hi ajc - from sunny Scunny! I'm nearer to Cleethorpes than Scunthorpe. Like you say- it's a small world. All the best... TF

[Tom Fisher]

These are all great posts guys. Keep them coming. If I can just pick one out for special mention though from Ingram - I could fair feel the pain and suffering from you there. I suppose you've tried this before - but just in case.. - have you tried the circle of foam rubber wrapped round with a soft duster to form a doughnut shape slotted into the bell? Another trick I've seen posted on the old forum site was to do the doughnut trick whilst also playing into an open door of a wardrobe full of clothes. Any other suggestions to help Ingram out Guys??

[PeterT]

My wife and I bought a 5th wheel trailer. Talk about no room. On the days I can't practice in the living room, for whatever reason, I go into the bathroom and shut the door. Want to hear how your tone is sounding? Try playing in the bathroom. Just don't play too loud, for your own ears sake.

[sadsax]

Mastercard...Mall....Visa...Shopping...Dear do you think that these curtains really go well with this decor? The last will get her out of the house for at least two hours. Hey Peter T. Some woman on ebay is trying to unload her husband's sax. I'd check that if I were you.

[PeterT]

EBay's great. That's where I got my tenor. Not a real great horn but really good to get back into it. Havent played in over 25 years, was looking at everything on eBay and happened across the sax's. That was it, I had to have one and get started again. Won the bid on this Blessing tenor, had it adjusted and repadded when I got it and have been really enjoying it since. That's been about 3 months now. When I first started blowing again, I was amazed that I didnt sound or play like I did when I was in my 20's. Gradually getting my tone back and my enboucher. Just recently won the bid on an alto, should be getting it any day. Cant wait. Needless to say I got them at a really reasonable price. Long live the SAX.

[adrianw]

Buy her a drum kit!

[Gandalfe]

I put up with her oboe practicing. :lol:

[mr00420]

Practice in the bathroom w/ the door closed, and practice multi-phonics and altissimo when no one's home. Try to control your volume... it's good tone practice, and good for your embechure. Try not to suck.

[Joseph Boucher]

My wife always wanted to play the drums. So I bought her a set of used Ludwigs and set them up in the basement. Now she can't complain about me. Joe, with ear plugs.

[Lowell]

I play in a small room in the basement when she is home. Our house is large and fairly sound proof. I play mostly when she is at work. I quit when she goes to bed although she says it would not bother her if I continued. No I don't play softly and quietly, she is just very tolerant. That is why we have been married more than 30 years. All you players who live in apartments with unsympathetic spouses have my condolences.

[FloydCat]

Tom

I am both the sax player AND the wife in our house, so no problem!!

As for keeping the husband sweet while I'm practising, well thank God for Playstation2....

:wink:

[Tom Fisher]

Well said FloydCat. Now if only I could find a Playstation 2 game that my beloved could get interested in, I would be a very happy man. Preferably something noisy that would drown out my incessant practising of scales and arpeggios or that same tune over & over again etc. - that drives me up the wall sometimes, let alone anyone else. I try not to play too loudly and as far away in the house as poss. but it's amazing how penetrating the sound of a sax is through several layers of walls.

[Keith]

That's no fair FloydCat. Everybody knows us men are simple minded, easily pleased, dogs. You give us a bone, we can lick it for days to end.

[OLDAIR]

I play on the third floor. With two doors closed between us. She is on the first floor watching television - turned up really loud usually! I think she hates the sax even more than the rare occasion that I pull out the tenor banjo! Someone wanted me to play about 3 notes on the cello for some little recording project and loaned me a cello to practice on. She said "I like that instrument, why don't you learn to play that instead of the sax!" The poor thing - she is married to a madman! For years I played acoustic string instruments until bitten last year by the saxophone. When she leaves the house I usually dash up to the attic and blow loud and long while she is out of the house.

[Storamin]

I'm not married, nor even out of my parents house. I play very loudly because my father and mother love the saxophone. Heck, they bought me a wonderful alto and bari, and beg me to play it daily! My brother dosen't complain either, as he is beggining(I switched him from French Horn, Score one for sax!) and he learns from me.

[pepper]

well i'm not married, and live on my own - but do have a slight problem with the neighbours from time to time. as i live in a building of flats (top floor which is nice) i have downstairs and directly next door to consider (or not as the case my be).

i can tell by various door slamming, loud coughing type hints that it gets to them from time to time, but then not one of them has said anything to my face about it, so i continue anyway.

the way i see it, its only a bit of music, and as pretty much everyone in the building makes some sort of commotion from time to time, think they can lump it or leave.

at least it's just music, which must be better than the continous rowing/and or domestic violence that invariably kicks off after the pubs shut.

[larry]

I can practice tunes while she's home. The chord, scale, and altissimo stuff I usually wait until she's out of the house to do. :wink:

[mark_m]

I practice primarily after everyone's in bed. Don't ask my how that works, you'd think it would be the worst time, but I think it puts everyone to sleep.

My dad used to play the old reed organ and sing while we were falling asleep; I'm sure my sax playing is much less lulling than that, but no doubt the kids will have some memory (hopefully fond) of dad playing those saxophones every night...

[navyvet]

My HUSBAND wouldn't dare say anything about my playing bari in the house - I've been listening to his same trumpet routines for 23 years, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Thank god for whisper mutes! I just go to the bedroom and close the door to play, he usually doesn't even notice!

[NotPortlyNJ]

I'm lucky. My wife is very supportive of, and loves, my sax playing, and we have 2 kids that play drums, and our son is now learning bass and guitar. So my wife is the only non-musician in our family, but she's an artist, painter mostly, so she's cool with all forms of art.

[zgatt]

Go for tone. IMHO, a "bright" sax sound/setup can be irritating even when it's played very well. Deep, fat, and rich sax tone is much more tolerable, even if it's not quite perfectly executed :wink:. As previously noted, altissimo is a potent weapon and should only be used responsibly.
My experience was when I upgraded from a student horn to a pro horn, I got immediate positive feedback (on the domestic front). It wasn't because it made me a better technical player, it's that the tone was more soothing. This applies equally to choices in mouthpiece.

z

[Sigmund451]

Zgat has the idea. Put on a more closed mpc and one with a mellow tone and doors and various elements that minimize sound will be much more effective. Put on a link or a Berg and it will slice through granite!

I for one, as I live in a temperate climate (northwest) practice at night in the garage. I have a tiny booth I made with hinged walls made from 2by2's and put carpet padding on both sides with a air space between. Then there are pillows and cloth all around me. The sound is very dead but the practicing can go on and the neighbors can hear it really eiter so I can practice until late (reasonably late anyway)...and dont talk about saxophones either...Ive found this is the kiss of death...salt in wounds if you will. Its hard to ballance your passion to learn and play with the responsibilities of a family....maybe make a clone that lives in a sound proof room with a martin (not a damn selmer) hehehehe.

[TheChristianSax]

I get up to practice before work, usually at 4:00 am. I shut our bedroom door, turn the house fan on, head out to my practice room, which is a 1993 Nissan Sentra parked in the garage. I have a metronome, music stand that attaches to the steering wheel, books and music all in my back seat. I did kill my battery yesterday, but that's another story. I use the CD player in my car to do play-alongs and to practice the music for weekend church services. I live in Texas, so it is almost unbearably hot in the summer, and cold in the winter. It is not so bad right now and I am happy. Sometimes, when I can, I play inside the house, though it doesn't happen too often. :lol:

Sincerely,

Matt

[Sigmund451]

Man, you really suffer for your art! Why not build a torture chamber with spikes like an iron maden? There's got to be a better way. Save some money and build something. Your story almost inspires me to send a donation to end your pain.....too bad Im poor and cheap.

[TheChristianSax]

Thank you for the kind gesture!! I have often thought about a well insulated storage building in the back yard with a small window a/c and a portable heater. I will work that one out with my wife. :D

Sincerely,

[ajcurtis]

TheChristianSax, thats sounds fine for the wife a bit on the expensive side, but at least you will have the rest of the house to practice in.LOL)

[TheChristianSax]

Hmmm, that thought never crossed my mind, but if I moved a chair in there, and the T.V. and.............. :lol:

Sincerely,

Matt

[SopranoSue]

Give her a $50 gift certificate to the local mall. Good for 2 hours or more anyway... :lol:

And yes, I can say that even though I'm female... :wink:

[Reedsoaker]

I've set up a practice area in the basement, but unfortunately, a new infant son has curtailed any marathon practice sessions!!
:(

Usually when I can practice, I try and get it done while she goes to the store or out somewhere. But again no regularity to that so my only good practice sessions are with my instructor.

[SopranoSue]

I've found a new practice regimen. 10 pm+, car, drive 10-30 mins, state park, play in fresh air. Outside time and practice time all at once... What could be better? :wink:

[otomah]

buy her a health club membership. When she heads for the club, I pick up the horn.

[jrvinson45]

Ballads. Practice/play a lot of ballads (particularly one's she knows)... play them for her specifically and play them old style (pretty). Listen to the Kim Richmond CD "Ballads" available on his website or from CD Universe. Ballads are easy to play and can always be personalized and played better.

John

[Seraphina]

I'm lucky in that I can practice during the day when my partner is at work and our son is at school,usually I have two sessions of approx 30-45 mins per day(have only started sax in the past week tho so that will increase as I progress)
On weekends when his lordship is home he's always too busy on the comp to take any notice of what I'm doing(and him being almost totally deaf in one ear after falling off a swing as a child helps) :lol: The same goes for our son,he's always busy with something although he will come listen to me play sometimes.

[PA-Sax]

Well...after working out a new arrangement or practicing altissimo for a hour I usually hear my wife screaming up the stairs " You Suck!!" Its pretty motivational.

Tom

[Jerry]

We had an unused room in the attic which I finally managed to insulate and make habitable last year. During the day, the kids use it as their indoor playground, in the evenings I can make about as much noise as I like to without anyone getting seriously annoyed. My wife usually relaxes at the TV by the time I start practicing, and the living room is just far enough away so she doesn't have to turn the volume up. After all, I get to take the babyphone upstairs ;)