Quitting the band

[Rubel]

I've been leading my band for almost 2 years now, and they are really starting to get on my nerves. We were supposed to be recording Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week. My stupid drummer was at his girlfriends cottage today, so we lost today. Then he cancelled tomorrow, and Wednesday, and booked us for Thursday. Because I booked off the Big-Band for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I've lost $150.00 So if I book off Thursday (practices are in the morning, so I can do a lesson in the afternoon) I lose another 50. What I'm trying to get at, is that I really want to quit my band. Even though we're in the process of making a CD. They're really pissing me off, because rehearsal's get changed without my knowing, and I have to break plans. The same goes for recording dates. Sometimes they are late for gigs, and lately, they aren't learning the tunes, and are complaining about practising. Is a band supposed to not want to get better? All three of these people (and myself) want to turn professional and they are going to Bishop's, York, and Humber next year. I'm a year younger. A few weeks ago, our Pianist introduced a new song he wrote, I can't remember the name, but I liked it. The piano and sax play a lick, and there is a bass lick which is in an odd place, and the first time our bassist heard it, he said "I can't get it". He hasn't gotten it since. He also never remembers his music. While recording, we did one "OK" take of a song I wrote called Mr. M &M. But the piano player screwed up the form. It's an AABA tune, and he just seemed to stick in the B section wherever he felt like it. Now they actually want me to RE-WRITE MY MELODY to fit a song that has no form whatsoever, just because the drummer's lazy and believes that he'll never do a better take, even though that one was not that good. The drummer also plays really loudly when we're trying to talk, and will never not hit his drums. When we ask him kindly to stop, he just plays over our talking. How do you motivate your bands? Or do you even need to? I feel like I shouldn't have to beg them to tell me when they change the times and dates of rehearsals and recordings. Is that so much to ask them to pick up a phone, so I don't have to bus for an hour with four saxes, a clarinet, and stands to the practise? It just seems ridiculous to me. Do you run into these problems ever? Anyways, I just found out about tomorrow, so I know I'm ranting, but I'd just really like the opinion of musicians who aren't friends of my band, so their impartial.


Thanks, Rubel

[Minatar12]

I've never had the opportunity to lead my own band yet...not enough dedicated musicians around with me that are my age (their are many who are just as talented, but most just don't care.) Sounds to me like its the same thing for you.

It seems to me that you have a good deal of talent and motivation. If that's the case, these people you are with are really holding you back, not to mention costing you money. I would recommend sitting through your studio dates and make this cd as best you are able (gotta honor your commitments, you know) then get out of there. You may have to be a sideman for awhile, but that can be great fun to. Go where you can do some good man, and where others will do good by you. Just my 2 cents.

[BrassaxMan5]

I lead my own band, and even though we're in middle school and starting high school, we are fine. The piano player and drummer (brothers) are very serious about it. Last practice, I introduced a way of playing chords to the piano player, and he is practicing them. I think the best thing to do is to yell at them. if all else fails, then quit.

[Chris S]

I'm currently leading/managing a 16 piece big band. Headaches-yes, lots of 'em. It's like having 15 children that you have to tell where to be, when to be there and what to bring, and then tell them all again, even though you've told them a thousand times that you HATE repeating yourself (dig the irony in the last part of that sentence). It's a lot of fun though, and it's the best band that I've ever played with. The thing that I do is make sure that I have a list of subs three deep on every instrument. I had one trombone player not show up for a rehearsal, so I didn't call her. When she finally called me to ask where the next gig was I told her that since she hadn't bothered showing up for the rehearsal without letting me know, I figured that she didn't want to play, so I had already replaced her with one of my subs. She was upset, but I refuse to let them walk all over me. That's what I think your problem really is. Your band doesn't respect you. If that's the case, drop them. Even if you have to be in someone else's band, that's OK. Wayne Shorter was a 'sideman' to Miles Davis. That's not a bad place to be a sideman. It's better to be respected and not in charge than to be disrespected and in charge. I say $*&# 'em. Go follow your own path and let them flush themselves down the toilet.

Chris S

[Nefertiti]

Rubel,
You start ou by saying that you lead the band but......then everything you write implies your not really leading anything. If your the leader you tell the other members(they need to know you are the leader) when and where the rehersals are. They don't change or move rehersals. That's the leaders job. You ask them to stop playing or to play softer and they need to respect you as the leader and meet your expectations. If this isn't happening or they are disrespectful to you then you tell them to hit the road and find someone else who will respect you as the leader. If you don't want to deal with all this leadership stuff then you can just keep on in your situation but your better off in the long run dealing with the situations. Good Luck.

[jean]

I formed a 16-piece big band 4 years ago and have been the "general manager" since then. You have to have the respect of the other members, and you need to lead by example.

NEVER be late to a rehearsal or gig

NEVER miss a rehearsal

NEVER miss a gig .... (as far as humanly possible)

Always convey through everything you do and say that your band is SPECIAL and IMPORTANT.

COMMUNICATE to all members of your band every week via e-mail regarding anything and everything that is pertinent that week, and also in the future.

EXPECT that they will give you adequate notice when they will miss a rehearsal or a gig. ALWAYS replace them.

GOALS...always have them. Always be working toward finding and playing better music....getting gigs...building that website, taking the band photo, etc. There is always room to grow and improve.

MUSIC..have copies of all of the music your band plays. Always have all of the music/everyone's part, at the rehearsal. If they forget to bring there's, can't find that song, whatever....you have it. Play the highest quality music you can get your hands on...that alone will draw better musicians.

Be organized. Let members know in your weekly emails which tunes will be rehearsed that week...give them giglists far in advance.

Have fun, keep it light, but replace those who don't have the same vision for your band. Let them know you plan to be in this LONGTERM.

Good luck :-}

[mark_m]

I'm with Nefertiti. The big problem is you've obviously let it be this way for long enough that your non-leadership appears to be well established, so it would not be easy to change.

If there's one of the the thred that you think would actually come around and that you'd like to keep playing with, you might replace the other two and have a talk with the third, if you want to "keep" the band in some form.

Nothing will change, however, even with new members, if you don't rise to the challenge of leadership. Doesn't mean you need to be a jerk about it; you need to develop the confidence to lead in such a way that others will want to follow your leadership. Good luck!

[gary]

PUTOUTBYDR, that's petty, man, and we know why you're doing it. If you've got a personal problem over a mouthpiece with someone, please don't spill over onto other threads.

Rubel - I also agree with nefertiti. It sounds to me like you need to fall back and regroup. Sounds like you've got a group of irresponsible morons, or...you are not being a decisive leader. Probably a combination.

I didn't pick up on the size of your group. Is it possible to fire those who are problematic and reduce the size down to something more manageable for you? If It's already a small group, maybe you need to disband, spend some time thinking about what worked and what didn't, and then give it another go later on.

I will tell you this, though, unless you're holding some formidable purse strings you are somewhat vulnerable to the, er, idiosyncracies of working with volunteers. You're somewhat at their mercy (compared to if you are paying them) and you've got to be psycologist, disciplinarian, motivator and respected musical peer all rolled into one, and that ain't easy.

I'm in several bands and one is leaderless. We work by "consensus" and let me tell you there are some serious disagreements at times. One thing, though, is that there is a consensus regarding making rehearsals, rehearsal preparation and gig responsibilities and anyone causing too many problems is out of there.

Good luck. And, oh yeah, can you use paragraphs next time? Thanks.

[sax_appeal]

Try organising a 60 piece concert band for a national competition

[kcp]

Leading a band is never easy - I know what I'm talking about; I lead 2 bands - However, I'm sorry to be so harsh but it does sound to me like your musicians are a bunch of incompetents - Talent, skill and experience are some of the things you should consider when selecting musicians to play in your band... but there is also dedication, availability and common goals - I would by far prefer to hire a musician who is not so skilled or inexperienced and not so talented but willing to work his butt off, than a virtuoso who can't show-up on time for a gig or takes-off without warning to his gf's cottage.

Set realistic goals for your band, goals that everyone agrees to. Ask them where they would like this band to be in a year - It's possible that not all musicians have the same ambitions. Select your musicians accordingly.

But it does sound to me also that you are not too satified about the performance of your musicians - Why keep them? You're the band leader right? One other thing, don't ever let yourself become dependent of the musicians in your band; The drummer doesn't do the job? No problem, there are plenty of other drummers out there - Make sure you let them know that.

Lately I had trouble in my band with a musician who missed several practice in a row without an acceptable reason - That musician happens to be a very busy person, has lots of engagements, jobs, parties, etc... I respect a person's interest in other things, but in the end, I began to question myself if this person really is interested in the band as much as the other band members - In the end, I set a new rule for "busy people"; Something came-up at the last minute? Can't be there for practice, record session or whatever that we have planned in advance though you said it was ok then but it's not ok anymore? Fine! In that case, do what proffessional musicians do in a case like this... SEND a SUBSTITUTE - Gimme your sub's phomne number and I'll call him/her - You don't have a sub? Find one and gmme his/her phone number so I'll call him - Still can't find a sub? Well don't worry then, I'll find a permanent replacement for you.

[Rubel]

Thanks for your input, everybody (with the exception of James Andrews.....ready to tell everyone yet, James?). I'm in Tokyo right now, and I'm completely worried because August 20th is our CD release party, and the band is taking care of all the details. (Look of worry). But apparently everything is fine. Obviously, I decided not to quit the band, and I'm happy. Yet still worried. I suppose there's two school's of thought. Either, they follow pattern, and, like everything else, they screw this up majorly. OR, all these previous screw ups mean they're due to do something perfectly. While I am hoping for the latter, the former school of thought seems more likely. I'll let everyone know how it goes.

Rubel

[Kareeser]

The same thing is actually happening with my band.

I run a youth orchestra as a part of our church community, and we've had to make too many sacrifices to keep the band in one piece:

We used to have a "can't make it? Don't come." policy, but we had to stop that because people simply had other plans and couldn't put orchestra at the top of the list. In fact, we can't technically be called an orchestra because we don't have any strings that come to practice.

On top of that, we have TWO flutes. One can never make it, and the other comes once every 10 practices and complains about how the band sounds horrible. Yet she insists on being in the exec.
We also have a barisax player who obviously doesn't care about band, because she hasn't come to practice in a little under a year.

With all the people who just happen to have engagements on the day of rehearsal, I've been reduced to a 7 person band, consisting of 2/4 trumpets, 1/3 saxes (me!), 0/2 Flutes (with 3 in training), 1/2 clarinets, 2/2 baritones, 0/2 strings, 0/1 Bassoons, 0/1 drums, 1/1 F Horn.

Total "players" (using the term lightly)? 22.

I doubt it's possible to even perform under those unbalanced conditions, but we somehow manage to forge on.
I want to know if there are any guidelines you follow to maximize band attendance. I've already gotten a get-together going awhile ago, and that bolstered attendance for awhile, but the problem has recurred.

I ideally e-mail members a week in advance, and call them 2-3 days in advance.

Rubel, hope you don't mind me jumping in and ranting, ;)

[OnyxSax]

If you decide quitting is the option that you want to take, never burn a bridge. You should walk out the door standing up, not slinking off into the night. What that means is stick around, do everything at 100% effort until the band can find a replacement.

Fortunes turn so quickly in the music business that you can find yourself at the mercy of the people you left behind. Will they lend you a helping hand, or will they simply kick you on your way down? How you leave things with them will determine how they treat you in the future.